When the Times picked up a story about how the megawealthy are- for the first time in 30 years- not rapidly becoming wealthier, we were able to see how the impact of this recession has reached everyone, right? Well, not quite. At least us penny-pinchers go to feel the thrill of justice, reading about how Richie Rich jerks can’t afford a third Mazarati, right? Again, not exactly. In their article, they should have given cash-strapped America a peek into the modern-day Depression-era capitalists. Instead, they make us actually feel bad for the guys. Just a little. Some highlights:

Last year, the number of Americans with a net worth of at least $30 million dropped 24 percent … Monthly income from stock dividends, which is concentrated among the affluent, has fallen more than 20 percent since last summer, the biggest such decline since the government began keeping records in 1959 … An index that tracks the price of art, the Mei Moses index, has dropped 32 percent in the last six months. The New York Yankees failed to sell many of the most expensive tickets in their new stadium and had to drop the price. In one ZIP code in Vail, Colo., only five homes sold for more than $2 million in the first half of this year, down from 34 in the first half of 2007, according to MDA Dataquick. In Bronxville, an affluent New York suburb, the decline was to two, from 17, according to Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage.

But the Times simply chose the wrong fellow to serve as synecdoche for the superrich as a whole. John McAfee, the computer anti-virus whiz whose financial collapse they followed, is just too likable for proper Schadenfreude. McAfee, “whose tattoos and tinted hair suggest an independent streak” (was that even a little bitchy, Times?), was a serial investor who liked to travel through Mexico, India, and Nepal, and wrote a book about yoga. He quickly bored with his own projects, but always managed to make money off of new investments. And he had a really fun house!

treating him?

He bought the house in New Mexico as a playground for himself and fellow aerotrekkers, people who fly unlicensed, open-cockpit planes. On a 157-acre spread, he built a general store, a 35-seat movie theater and a cafe, and he bought vintage cars for his visitors to use. In the wake of the dot-com crash, stocks started rising again, while house prices just continued to rise. Outside’s Go magazine and National Geographic Adventure ran articles on his New Mexico property, leading to him to believe that “this was the hottest property on the planet,” he said.

Aside from the unlicensed pilots bit, that sounds really fun! But then the economy collapsed.

In 2007, Mr. McAfee sold a 10,000-square-foot home in Colorado with a view of Pike’s Peak. He had spent $25 million to buy the property and build the house. He received $5.7 million for it. When Lehman collapsed last fall, its bonds became virtually worthless. Mr. McAfee’s stock investments cost him millions more. One day, he realized, as he said, “Whoa, my cash is gone.” He has sold a 10-passenger Cessna jet and now flies coach. This week his oceanfront estate in Hawaii sold for $1.5 million, with only a handful of bidders at the auction. He plans to spend much of his time in Belize, in part because of more favorable taxes there. Next week, his New Mexico property will be the subject of a no-floor auction, meaning that Mr. McAfee has promised to accept the top bid, no matter how low it is. “I am trying to face up to the reality here that the auction may bring next to nothing,” he said.

Real estate is being sold for pennies on the dollar, so now is the perfect time to buy. Get an amazing deal on Orange County NY properties before prices skyrocket back up!  Times, what are you doing? Instead of reading this article with the grin on my face that should have been there, I actually just want the guy to keep his airfield. He’s living the dream, and I’m a little angry that his are being shattered. Next time, can’t you find a hurting millionaire who made his money off baby seals’ tears?  Then he could afford Nyack NY real estate.

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My Take: Remember in high school, when all the girls silently rejoiced when the prom queen got a zit? I feel like those days are back.

If we, as a country, really need somebody to scapegoat our frustrations on and empty this load of sour grapes we are all apparently carrying around, so be it. Although I may be jealous of their bank accounts, I won’t participate in 1930’s-style capitalist-bashing. Since when can’t we just condemn stupid and evil people, rich or poor?

I say, let them play with their planes. Fly ‘em if you got ‘em.

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